Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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