after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize