even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
