i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
