Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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