i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
