I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
