I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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