All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
