I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He kissed a someone with a penis
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
