Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
