i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
wow bdsm is so cute
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
