If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
