Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
