Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We got so high we made milksteak
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
