we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
