Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
