so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
