You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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