I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
