he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
