She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
