please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
