I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
