he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
