And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
