im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
