Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This girl is more easily done than said...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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