I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
