my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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