mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
