i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
