are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
