his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
