why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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