how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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