just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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