is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
