His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize