Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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