just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
