I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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