5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Drunk is not a location!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
