you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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