I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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