if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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