My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
