Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
