just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize