I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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