if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
