Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I came so hard my ears popped.
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