why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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