What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
