Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize