Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
