Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
