have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
