i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize