STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize