Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
